Get me around some crying babies! STAT!

August 27, 2011 § Leave a comment

Brit and I were having a hilarious-to-me and disturbing-to-him conversation the other night when I abruptly changed subjects. I was a bit tipsy at the time (hence the earlier conversation) so I don’t remember the conversation word for word, but it went something like this:

Me: So, on a more serious topic, you need to get me around some bratty, crying babies right away.
Brit: What? Why?
Me: Because my uterus is telling me to have more babies and I don’t want to have more babies.
Brit: Well, we can practice making babies.
Me: It’s driving me nuts! My brain goes, “You don’t want more kids!” but then my uterus goes, “BABIES! BAAAABIIIIEEEESSSS!!! I’m hungry for babies!”

The conversation sort of deteriorated from there, so I’ll just skip on to the point of the rest of this post.

Science has found that “baby fever” is a real thing, but that it tends to be started by people being around cute, cuddly babies. People who are around crying, colicky babies are in the “Hell no I don’t want a baby!” category. As I’ve been around no babies whatsoever lately, I’m a little confused where my baby hunger came from.

Unless it came from just being an atheist and I’m literally hungry for babies. Hrrrmmmm…..

I also ran across an interesting article that states that way more new mothers are choosing to get their tubes tied than IUDs. It goes on to speculate on the reasons for this but doesn’t actually ask any women. They’re going on about how women may be being pressured to get sterilized because it costs more, and therefore makes the hospital more money.

Now, my experience may be different from most women since I was sterilized in a military hospital and not a civilian one, but I can’t help but think that that’s bullshit in the majority of cases. Not only did I have to lay out my case very, very clearly for my doctor, but so many people didn’t approve of a 23-year-old wanting to be sterilized that word got around and a nurse practitioner (the other main provider in the women’s health clinic, but not my provider) called me at my home to try and convince me not to do it. The call ended with, “I’ve made you an appointment with our head doctor on blah day at blah time.”

I went to that appointment prepared. I didn’t waste my breath re-explaining my reasoning to this head of medicine. Nope. I said that the nurse practitioner had violated my HIPAA rights and I wanted to lodge a complaint. Apparently, she wasn’t ready for a 23-year-old who knew her rights. I left that appointment without having lodged a complaint but with the assurance that I would never have to deal with that particularly nasty piece of work again and that my surgery would go on as scheduled.

Like I said, maybe my experience isn’t typical. I suppose civilian hospitals may be more concerned with making a buck than military ones.

But I must now ask myself, did I make the right decision? It’s been years since I was sterilized, my uterus is baby-hungry, do I regret what I did? The answer is easily NO. Are you kidding me? I protected myself from myself! I can’t afford a baby and I certainly don’t need to bring a new one into the world. Not only would I have to deal with swollen ankles again, but being pregnant would completely ruin a $400 tattoo! Plus I already have cute little baby Wes, who lives with is biological mommy and daddy.

Nope, I don’t regret it one bit. If I still want a baby when I have a little more money saved up, then I’ll spend some of that money to buy adopt one. While I think it’s silly that adoption is so expensive, I’m kind of glad for it right now that my uterus is yelling “BABIESSSS!!!” at me a lot.

Oh, and I might have to try out some new recipes…

News stories at The Body Odd and Reuters



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