Multitude of housework – Part 2

September 11, 2011 § Leave a comment

So for the rest of the day…let’s see. I folded all the laundry and put it away (while watching season four of The Guild); I cleaned the toilet; and I vacuumed the living room. All of this took an hour and 12 minutes.

I learned something important today. If you’re ever in your storage room looking for your crappy vacuum and you happen to see another vacuum sitting there and you happen to decide to use it because no vacuum can suck more than yours (or less, since it’s a vacuum)…. If you ever find yourself in that situation, make sure that the vacuum bag is completely zipped up before turning it on or you might end up with some very pointy dust in your eye. Just sayin’.

I realized a bit after posting earlier today and I forgot to cut the XP in half for the shopping, but I also cooked an awesome dinner which I’m sure took longer to do than the 13 minutes it’d take me to pick up those missing XP, plus I didn’t count it in my time above, so I’m going to call it even.

Level 5
XP 249
Tidy 3
Clean 2
Organize 3
Next 250

Here’s how it went when I realized where I’m at:

Me: I went up two levels? No…wait… I’m one away from level six? Sigh.
Brit: That’s one minute of work?
Me: Yeah. Or two minutes of shopping.
Brit: I’ll give you the XP for a night of sex!
Me: Sigh.
Brit: …You know you want to level up…!
Me: Double sigh.
Brit: You’re recording this, aren’t you?

Anyway, today’s level-up sound effect is inspired by D&D…

Frank: Yay! We leveled up!
Don: OK everyone, that means you get a feat and an extra kazoo.


Get me around some crying babies! STAT!

August 27, 2011 § Leave a comment

Brit and I were having a hilarious-to-me and disturbing-to-him conversation the other night when I abruptly changed subjects. I was a bit tipsy at the time (hence the earlier conversation) so I don’t remember the conversation word for word, but it went something like this:

Me: So, on a more serious topic, you need to get me around some bratty, crying babies right away.
Brit: What? Why?
Me: Because my uterus is telling me to have more babies and I don’t want to have more babies.
Brit: Well, we can practice making babies.
Me: It’s driving me nuts! My brain goes, “You don’t want more kids!” but then my uterus goes, “BABIES! BAAAABIIIIEEEESSSS!!! I’m hungry for babies!”

The conversation sort of deteriorated from there, so I’ll just skip on to the point of the rest of this post.

Science has found that “baby fever” is a real thing, but that it tends to be started by people being around cute, cuddly babies. People who are around crying, colicky babies are in the “Hell no I don’t want a baby!” category. As I’ve been around no babies whatsoever lately, I’m a little confused where my baby hunger came from.

Unless it came from just being an atheist and I’m literally hungry for babies. Hrrrmmmm…..

I also ran across an interesting article that states that way more new mothers are choosing to get their tubes tied than IUDs. It goes on to speculate on the reasons for this but doesn’t actually ask any women. They’re going on about how women may be being pressured to get sterilized because it costs more, and therefore makes the hospital more money.

Now, my experience may be different from most women since I was sterilized in a military hospital and not a civilian one, but I can’t help but think that that’s bullshit in the majority of cases. Not only did I have to lay out my case very, very clearly for my doctor, but so many people didn’t approve of a 23-year-old wanting to be sterilized that word got around and a nurse practitioner (the other main provider in the women’s health clinic, but not my provider) called me at my home to try and convince me not to do it. The call ended with, “I’ve made you an appointment with our head doctor on blah day at blah time.”

I went to that appointment prepared. I didn’t waste my breath re-explaining my reasoning to this head of medicine. Nope. I said that the nurse practitioner had violated my HIPAA rights and I wanted to lodge a complaint. Apparently, she wasn’t ready for a 23-year-old who knew her rights. I left that appointment without having lodged a complaint but with the assurance that I would never have to deal with that particularly nasty piece of work again and that my surgery would go on as scheduled.

Like I said, maybe my experience isn’t typical. I suppose civilian hospitals may be more concerned with making a buck than military ones.

But I must now ask myself, did I make the right decision? It’s been years since I was sterilized, my uterus is baby-hungry, do I regret what I did? The answer is easily NO. Are you kidding me? I protected myself from myself! I can’t afford a baby and I certainly don’t need to bring a new one into the world. Not only would I have to deal with swollen ankles again, but being pregnant would completely ruin a $400 tattoo! Plus I already have cute little baby Wes, who lives with is biological mommy and daddy.

Nope, I don’t regret it one bit. If I still want a baby when I have a little more money saved up, then I’ll spend some of that money to buy adopt one. While I think it’s silly that adoption is so expensive, I’m kind of glad for it right now that my uterus is yelling “BABIESSSS!!!” at me a lot.

Oh, and I might have to try out some new recipes…

News stories at The Body Odd and Reuters

Do I make him look bad?

August 20, 2011 § Leave a comment

Brit was looking over my shoulder as I typed that last post. I was going quite slowly because I was typing it on my phone. I’d just finished the sentence saying he’d covered the bedroom floor in clothes.

Brit: Hey, you’re making me out to be the bad guy! One of these days there’s going to be a post that just says “he hit me.”

I think I did a pretty good job of turning that last post around and making me look like the bitch. (In a fun, happy way?) What do y’all think?

Too meta-blog?

Touché, Sad Etsy Dogs

August 18, 2011 § Leave a comment

It’s late, and I’m looking through Sady Etsy Dogs.

Brit: Let’s go to bed.
Me: Just one more page. That last one was so funny.
Brit: But… Let’s just go to bed.

I flip to the next page, because I’m very good at listening and taking suggestions. The first post on the next page is…

‘Bite On This, It Willl Hurt Less’ Dog

We both burst out laughing.

Brit: Touché blog. Touché.

Breaking the news and Robocop

August 16, 2011 § Leave a comment

I had this conversation a few nights ago.

Brit: So, what’s your new WordPress blog about?
Me: It’s a surprise.
Brit: It’s not stupid things I’ve said, is it?
Me: Some of it probably will be, but that’s not the main thing. Don’t worry, you’ll like it.
I was then forced to watch Robocop, where Brit rolled his eyes at all the stupid things I had to say about the movie. (“Wow, he found Dick Jones really easily! It’s not like that’s a common name or anything…”)

The goal of this blog is to become better at keeping house. See, Brit? I said you’d like it.

But, since this is the “diary of a messy lady” and not “how I’m going to make my house cleaner,” I’ll write about some other things as well. What other things? I suppose you shall have to stay tuned, but I think feminist and skeptical themes may be strong among them. Oh, and silly things Brit’s said too.

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